For lack of a nail (Java version)

// For the lack of a nail,
throw new HorseshoeNailNotFoundException("no nails!");

// For the lack of a horseshoe,
EquestrianDoctor.getLocalInstance().getHorseDispatcher()
.dispatch();

// For the lack of a horse,
RidersGuild.getRiderNotificationSubscriberList().getBroadcaster()
.run(
new BroadcastMessage(StableFactory.getNullHorseInstance()));

// For the lack of a rider,
MessageDeliverySubsystem.getLogger().logDeliveryFailure(
MessageFactory.getAbstractMessageInstance(
 new MessageMedium(MessageType.VERBAL),
 new MessageTransport(MessageTransportType.MOUNTED_RIDER),
 new MessageSessionDestination(BattleManager.getRoutingInfo(
                                 BattleLocation.NEAREST))),
MessageFailureReasonCode.UNKNOWN_RIDER_FAILURE);

// For the lack of a message,
((BattleNotificationSender)
BattleResourceMediator.getMediatorInstance().getResource(
BattleParticipant.PROXY_PARTICIPANT,
 BattleResource.BATTLE_NOTIFICATION_SENDER)).sendNotification(
 ((BattleNotificationBuilder)
   (BattleResourceMediator.getMediatorInstance().getResource(
    BattleOrganizer.getBattleParticipant(Battle.Participant.GOOD_GUYS),
    BattleResource.BATTLE_NOTIFICATION_BUILDER))).buildNotification(
     BattleOrganizer.getBattleState(BattleResult.BATTLE_LOST),
     BattleManager.getChainOfCommand().getCommandChainNotifier()));

// For the lack of a battle,
try {
 synchronized(BattleInformationRouterLock.getLockInstance()) {
   BattleInformationRouterLock.getLockInstance().wait();
 }
} catch (InterruptedException ix) {
if (BattleSessionManager.getBattleStatus(
BattleResource.getLocalizedBattleResource(Locale.getDefault()),
  BattleContext.createContext(
    Kingdom.getMasterBattleCoordinatorInstance(
      new TweedleBeetlePuddlePaddleBattle()).populate(
        RegionManager.getArmpitProvince(Armpit.LEFTMOST)))) ==
   BattleStatus.LOST) {
 if (LOGGER.isLoggable(Level.TOTALLY_SCREWED)) {
  LOGGER.logScrewage(BattleLogger.createBattleLogMessage(
   BattleStatusFormatter.format(BattleStatus.LOST_WAR,
         Locale.getDefault())));
 }
}
}

// For the lack of a war,
return new Kingdom();

Adapted from Steve Yegge's Blog Rant of March 30, 2006. Apologies to Ben Franklin (who in turn adapted the original proverb from George Herbert's Jacula Prudentum).